In, Out and Pending: Thoughts on things being "Too Hard"

I read a commentary recently that discussed what may be happening with people when they don't do things like respond to emails, deal with things in their lives, pay their bills, etc. His idea was that our actions/behavior could sometimes be similar to the boxes on peoples' desks at work. That the easy issues get dealt with, but the tough ones end up in the pending box. So true, but he also commented that perhaps in our lives, the "Pending" box should be re-labeled "Too Hard."

I've been pondering this idea a lot lately. It's especially interesting to me where communications are concerned. I guess I've worked in customer service too much, because ideally, I try to respond to people within 24 hours. I've learned, however, that many people don't follow that practice and my guess now, is that it is probably too hard.

The reasons are likely varied - not enough time, low priority, etc. But what happens when the issue truly is too hard to deal with for more difficult reasons? You don't know the answer - replying makes one uncomfortable - maybe not enough emotional energy to even figure out how you feel about it...

In the past I guess I assumed the there was a specific reason people weren't responding, generally because it was something about me. This of course, is my insecure side raging to the front! Anyway, it's been freeing to me to think of it in this in the light that it is likely something about them and their issues rather than something I should be sensitive about. So, yes, for some reason - it's too hard for person x, y, z to respond.

But then what about the issue of acknowledgement? Getting back to good service....Even if you can't respond to someone right away - letting them know that you heard them is of great value - they know you got the message at least. So why not in our personal dealings? When I don't hear from people - there is that insecurity to deal with - where I wonder if it IS something about me... why can’t we make a token effort to salve others’ fears a little and acknowledge our own issues?

I'm becoming really curious about why more people don't acknowledge that things are too hard. Why can't it be OK to send a note saying - "I can't deal with this issue right now." Or maybe even, "I won't ever deal with this issue." Is that too honest? At least we know that the message was received - even if they choose not to respond.

So now, I guess I have a fantasy, a dream, that people would be more honest about the things that are difficult for them. Maybe we'll have an "It's OK to say it's Too Hard" movement? Perhaps not, but it would be freeing sometimes to not be guessing.