In, Out and Pending: Thoughts on things being "Too Hard"

I read a commentary recently that discussed what may be happening with people when they don't do things like respond to emails, deal with things in their lives, pay their bills, etc. His idea was that our actions/behavior could sometimes be similar to the boxes on peoples' desks at work. That the easy issues get dealt with, but the tough ones end up in the pending box. So true, but he also commented that perhaps in our lives, the "Pending" box should be re-labeled "Too Hard."

I've been pondering this idea a lot lately. It's especially interesting to me where communications are concerned. I guess I've worked in customer service too much, because ideally, I try to respond to people within 24 hours. I've learned, however, that many people don't follow that practice and my guess now, is that it is probably too hard.

The reasons are likely varied - not enough time, low priority, etc. But what happens when the issue truly is too hard to deal with for more difficult reasons? You don't know the answer - replying makes one uncomfortable - maybe not enough emotional energy to even figure out how you feel about it...

In the past I guess I assumed the there was a specific reason people weren't responding, generally because it was something about me. This of course, is my insecure side raging to the front! Anyway, it's been freeing to me to think of it in this in the light that it is likely something about them and their issues rather than something I should be sensitive about. So, yes, for some reason - it's too hard for person x, y, z to respond.

But then what about the issue of acknowledgement? Getting back to good service....Even if you can't respond to someone right away - letting them know that you heard them is of great value - they know you got the message at least. So why not in our personal dealings? When I don't hear from people - there is that insecurity to deal with - where I wonder if it IS something about me... why can’t we make a token effort to salve others’ fears a little and acknowledge our own issues?

I'm becoming really curious about why more people don't acknowledge that things are too hard. Why can't it be OK to send a note saying - "I can't deal with this issue right now." Or maybe even, "I won't ever deal with this issue." Is that too honest? At least we know that the message was received - even if they choose not to respond.

So now, I guess I have a fantasy, a dream, that people would be more honest about the things that are difficult for them. Maybe we'll have an "It's OK to say it's Too Hard" movement? Perhaps not, but it would be freeing sometimes to not be guessing.

Maybe Some Traditions Should Pass?

May is a time of hope and renewal for me. It brings the re-awakening of my garden, good weather for grilling on the patio and we can’t forget the annual opening of fishing! I have many fond memories of my family heading out in varied weather conditions on the hunt for walleyes. Sadly, this year, I won’t be able to keep up the traditional pilgrimage to my parent’s lake home for freshly caught shore lunch delights. It appears that other fishing traditions may be at risk this year too. On May 6, Dennis Anderson wrote a piece in the Minneapolis Star Tribune about the potential demise of live bait in Minnesota http://bit.ly/1jeIF.

A shortage of Golden Shiners – a popular minnow used by walleye fishermen is in short supply and bait dealers are beginning to agitate for importing them from Arkansas. There are concerns about importing unwelcome invasive species along with the shiners which may stand in the way of this proposal. Given that three-spined sticklebacks, gobies and other unwelcome fish were introduced into Minnesota lakes via bait buckets combined with the well known destructive impact of other invasive species like Asian Carp in our rivers; preventing the addition of new species is important. Ron Payer, DNR Fisheries Section Chief elaborates on some of the history and concerns of bait importation here, http://bit.ly/ocfxM.

So what about artificial baits? I remember well my first fishing opener experience with Crappie Nibbles by Berkley. My father and I set out one chilly overcast opener to troll for walleyes. My preference that day was crappies, but I had a reel newly wound with Fireline, just in case I snagged something bigger. I was impressed with the performance of those tiny smelly baits. We had a good catch that morning and I’ve continued to use the Nibbles ever since. While my preference is to use live bait like night crawlers for pan fishing, they too are an invasive species which destroys wildflowers and other plants near our lakes where folks have disposed of them improperly. For more information on night crawlers: http://bit.ly/11f91L.

So which way should we go? I’ll leave it to the experts to decide, but if it protects our lakes and woodlands to use artificial baits, I know I’ll choose one of the great artificial options over live bait next time because the tradition of pursuing our native Minnesota fish is important to me.

By Katy Olson
May 11, 2009